Not Unnatural

As soon as I hear a musician using Auto-Tune, I have to turn the song off. The sound of it is worse than fingernails on a blackboard, or frogs in a blender.

I dislike it when it is used to “correct” a singer’s pitch. And I especially hate it when it is used to perfectly distort vocals into something that cannot be done with one’s meat cords. Yes, Auto-Tune is a tool. It is neutral – in theory. And maybe there are people out there who have used it unobtrusively. But I still dislike it. I think it’s lazy, and songs made with it sound like ass.

If you can’t sing on key, then take vocal lessons, practice daily and become a stronger singer. Or sing your best but do it off-key. Some of my favorite pieces of music have missed beats, slightly off-kilter harmonies and a tempo that slightly accelerates and decelerates with the heartbeats of the performers.

This is humans making music. It gives me chicken skin. It floods my brain with dopamine. It makes me want to make music.

Auto-Tune makes us all sound like a corn-fed Casio keyboard.

I look at woodworking the same way. (And no, this is not a column about hand tools vs. power tools.)

There is a class of woodworking that puts technicality over form. It favors shock, cleverness and a certain je ne sais impossible. When I see joints, inlay or surfaces that are astonishingly complex, uniform or smooth, I feel the opposite of awe.¹ I take a step back and erase the super-sapiens aspect of the piece from my mind.

“Yup, looks like a turd. A turd with silicone implants.”

I have no problems using technology to augment our efforts, or to increase the number of years we can work at the bench. I can saw. But the band saw allows me to do the same action faster, and it keeps going even when I’m tired or too old to use a ripsaw. In the end, the result is the same. One piece of wood becomes two.

But when technology is used to produce things in wood that haven’t been possible before, I am ice cold. It sparks nothing in me. All I can say is, “And so what’s your next trick?”

There is a valid argument that these digital machining technologies actually expand our world. They dilate what is possible. They show that humans can grow, adapt and create new and original works.

I say that argument is correct. Big ups for the big brains.