The American Peasant

Home
Archive
About
The Dancing Monkey Sauce
Note: I don’t usually take requests for specific topics at The American Peasant, but this is a special case.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
16
Earlywood: My Willow Phase
Publisher’s note: Good morning, and welcome to Earlywood, a free excerpt from one of the thousands of pieces I’ve written since 1996.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
25
Warning Flags Now Shipping
Hey peasants.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
21
The January Bloodbath
Plus, the Updated ‘Bulls%$t’ book.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
42
Earlywood: How to Get Mildly Famous in Woodworking
Publisher’s note: Good morning, and welcome to Earlywood, a free excerpt from one of the thousands of pieces I’ve written since 1996.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
35
The $50 Tattoo
Once when I was shooting some poo with friends, someone asked: “Do y’all have tattoos?”
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
65
‘Sandwich Drilling’ is the Future & the Past
But it’s only one tool.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
40
Earlywood: Taking Credit, Giving Credit and Stealing It
Publisher’s note: Happy New Year, happy Earlywood, a free excerpt from one of the thousands of pieces I’ve written since 1996.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
36
Explaining ‘Straight Grain’ for Bulls%$t Chairs
A few people pointed out that my explanation of how to read the grain in “Build a Chair from Bulls%$t” was lacking.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
47

December 2024

‘Build a Chair from Bulls%$t’ – Plans & Complete Instructions
It might seem like this book came out of nowhere – like shit from a goose.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
100
The Return of 'The Book of Plates?'
I swore on a stack of 18th-century manuscripts that we wouldn’t reprint “The Book of Plates,” which was an oversized volume containing all the…
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
67
Ending the Sabbatical Early
This afternoon I finished up all the page layout and construction drawings for “Build a Chair from Bulls%$t,” so I’m ending my sabbatical tomorrow.
 • 
Christopher Schwarz
23
© 2025 Christopher Schwarz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture