Publisher’s note: Happy Saturday, a day for weekend classes, writing negative Yelp reviews, and Earlywood, a free excerpt from one of the thousands of pieces I’ve written since 1996. This post originally appeared on the Lost Art Press blog in 2016 and last year. We hope you enjoy it.
I was 13 when I was accepted for the journalism program at Chaffin Middle School, and I remained a full-time student of the craft until I was 24 and released on the world to collect a generous four- and (I know you’re jealous) five-figure salary in this trade.
I’m often asked by kids and grownups how to become a writer. What books should they read? What classes should they take? After more than 40 years of study and making a living at it, here’s my answer:
All my writing classes sucked. During my 11 years of full-time training, I never got much value from a writing class. (Sorry Roger Boye and Dave Nelson.)
So how do you become a better writer? I think you should take classes in editing. The three most important classes I took during my training were:
Copy editing. This class taught the rules of the road. The rules were tattooed on my brain through ritual abuse (that’s copy editing!). Once I knew the rules, I learned the consequences of bending or breaking them. The beautiful thing about becoming a copy editor is that you can churn out copy that a copy editor will love.
Magazine editing. During this class I learned to flush away my “self” and edit in someone else’s voice. Also, a good editor can transform into a stupid person who is reading a piece of writing for the first time. This “cloak of stupidity” allows you to see the giant holes in a story, the poor organization and the odd word choices. While I use this skill on other people’s work every day, I also use it on my own writing. Though it’s difficult to edit your own work, once you don the “cloak of stupidity,” you can improve your writing.
Law and ethics. If you don’t have a moral groundwork for your writing, you will write things you don’t believe in (I’m talking here about the profession of disinformation). An ethics class will teach you the limits of writing (what’s legal and not). It will give you the confidence to exercise your First Amendment rights (truth is a defense). And it will show you how the “appearance of impropriety” should color every decision you make as a writer.
So what the heck does this have to do with woodworking? Lots. If you want to become good at building casework, I think you should take a class in chairmaking. Why?
Assemblies are living systems. When you make a chair you try to use the least amount of wood to create the greatest strength. So you have to understand wood, how it moves and how it reacts to the tools. After taking chairmaking classes in the early 2000s, I knew how to put assemblies in tension so they would resist certain forces. I knew how to better design for moisture exchange. I saw the benefit of green wood, dry wood and everything between.
Angles are meaningless. After you take a class in chairmaking you see that every angle is as valid as 90°. While machines like 90°, you don’t have to stick with that angle (or its cousin, 45°) to make good furniture.
Form is everything. While chairs can have intricate details, they are mostly a silhouette. And once you can see that silhouette, your casework will ricochet into new directions.
During the last decade, I’ve been teaching chairmaking classes and have been on the other side of the teacher’s desk. I still don’t know if I’m any good at it, but at least I have exactly zero weird Yelp reviews for my classes.
I mentioned this to students in a chair class last August as we were working on our combs, and we started brainstorming what some negative Yelp reviews of my chair class might sound like.
Here are a few.
Very limited vegan options for gluing.
“Red oak” offered up was more “brown” than what a reasonable person – which I am – would consider as “red.”
There are zero – zip, nada – Spanish tarts at “Los Tarts Press.”
Too noisy for intimate conversation. Lighting was too harsh. Not enough televisions. ONLY ONE BATHROOM!!!! Will not return.
Wanted to make a table, was told they had only chairs.
Wish I could give ZERO stars. Asked for walnut, was given something that was DEFINITELY not walnut.
Mallets need cushier handles. Visible sores after three uses.
Limited alcohol menu – denatured only.
No metric rulers – very unwelcoming environment for base-10 beings.
Workbenches were stained, pock-marked with holes and DEFINITELY not 38" high. Unsuitable work environment for fine woodworking. Will not return.
Floor littered with debris the entire time. Staff seemed unconcerned and ACTUALLY threw more garbage on the floor!!!! Don’t know how this place is still in business.
Not a castle (as promised). Instructor didn’t have British accent. Didn’t once use a router plane.
When this first ran, we welcomed negative reviews in the comments. Here are some of our favorites.
Built a comb-back chair – I sat down repeatedly – back hair still unkempt. One Star
I asked where the clock was and I left falling down drunk.
Cat has only three legs.
Chairs not soft, and you have to make them yourself. Limited tools. And none powered.
Long lines at the band saw! Had to wait 10 minutes to cut my own wedges!
Wanted to love this class, but chair parts arrived “raw,” no matter how many times we brought this up to the instructor. Had to shave the sticks, saddle the seat, and drill all the holes ourselves. Also, the other instructor, “Megan,” kept talking about Dutch tool chests, which is a type of chair I’ve never heard of. Avoid.
Zero CNC machines, it’s like LAP doesn’t even understand woodworking. 1 star.
Class size too small. Instructor asks lots of questions.
Not enough glitter.
I have not taken the chair course and I never will. I can tell by the pictures his chairs are primitive pieces of crap more suited to some hippy burning man festival. I could bang out a better chair in an hour using my table saw and router I got from the Home Depot. Save your money and your sanity by staying away from this technophobe-back-to-the-land bull crap.
I just wanted to build a bird house. Sigh.
Great Class, but hide your gummy bears. The instructor stole mine to make more glue.
We had to sharpen our own tools! What were we paying for here?
I was disappointed in the lack of seating available for the “chair” lecture. By the time chairs were made available, the lecture was apparently over. 1 out of 5 stars.
Speaking of Classes….
If you’re interested in taking one of my chairmaking classes, I have been invited back to Germany this summer to teach a four-day introduction to chairmaking course at Dictum’s classroom in Niederalteich, a gorgeous monastery in Bavaria. The class, which is in English, runs from July 9-12. Beginning chairmakers are most welcome. In the class we will each build a simple backstool and focus on the fundamentals – the angles, the joinery and training your hands to be a chairmaker. We will also cover basic saddling. You can read more about the area and the class here.
The following week, I’m teaching people to build the Dutch Tool Chest in Munich July 14-16. You can register and read more about the class here.
Back in the States, I’m teaching people how to build a peasant cupboard July 27-28 at the Marc Adams School of Woodworking in Franklin, Indiana. You can read more about the class and register here. This is a fun class because the cabinet construction is the quick part. Then we paint the face frame, learn about spells and engrave them.
I probably will announce two more chair classes for this year in the coming days. One in London and one here. The class here will likely be for an Irish armchair with a saddled seat.
Chris, I forgot to ask, what skill level is required for the Dutch tool chest class? It specified in the back-stool class but not the DTC class. I need to determine how much dovetail practicing I need to do prior to July. :)
Regarding the back stool class, are we expected to come with our own stool-related poop jokes or will you be providing those on site?